I dunno wut to do,
i dunno who to blif,
i dunno.

I wish i can be blind and deaf,
i really wish so.

Raya Break

Here's some pics, guess will be more eye-catching than my emo words =(

My alone mamak time at Tmn Desa, dun really like maggie goreng, but sum1 told me it is nice, so i like it =)

During buka raya time with my class members and our pretty lecturers^.^ Non-bumi in our class....tot wanna take with others, but they gone for pray edi...>.< Me and Wei2~
( I can hardly find myself in this pic>.<)

Our class and Pn.Salmah before Raya Break....i was late for tat day, stupid jam>.<

I love these 2 ShangHai Mooncake very much...really cute!!!(and tastiessssss also>.<) This is what we ate during Mid-Autumn Festival....artisty daoooooooooooo
me n my sis's assignment for the nite....(mum force us to play, say this is traditional wor...=.=)
me, mummy and sis.....gonna miss them lots......=)

Recently I getting more n more unlike me, i wonder why i bcum like this.
Hmm...anyway, this time, it is really passed, there's no more any chance for me to do anything.
Guess this is my fate--to lost lost something i care the most, and make me grow up, in another way.
Will be fine, will be strong, will be tough =)

:-)

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll
be fine without you
Yes I will

思乡

刚来到shah alam读书的时候，我是一个星期回家一次的，
拜四就开始收拾行李，拜五一放学就冲着回怡保。
一连五个在宿舍渡过的夜晚，真的很辛苦。

慢慢的，两个星期。十四天，已经有点难受了。
看到妈妈，好像又老了一点。
妈妈的白头发长很快，明明上次回家看她时，染黑了的，很年轻，看不出是５０几岁的女人。
现在，头顶的部分白了许多。
眼角的皱纹深了，也变瘦了很多。
妈妈不再年轻了。
妈妈在老了。

很怕看到妈妈对我笑，感觉她是硬撑的。
明明就很辛苦，为什么还要对我笑？
明明就很不舒服，为什么不看医生？
明明就身体不好，为什么不吃蓝绿藻？
明明就很累，为什么还要叫我们一起出去吃东西？

很怕很怕出国念书。
还有一年三个月，我就在澳洲了。
回来的间隔，不再是一个星期或者１４天了。
一年。
３６５天。
或者我买不起飞机票，需要更长的时间。
妈妈一天一天的老。
我一天一天的
一个星期一个星期
一个月一个月
一年，才回来。

到时候，你的白发还能被掩盖吗？
你的胃痛怎样了？
腰骨还行吗？
蹲下来，起身还会很辛苦吗？
你还认得出你的儿子吗？

你是我努力的理由。
让你健康，
让你能够跟我一起，
看着我买车，买房子，
带你去旅行，
带你去吃点心，
请阿姨舅舅们吃大餐，让你坐在主家席。


我爱你，mama。

我的他*我的心

很不习惯用华文写，但是，有些情感是英文不能形容的。

不想放弃的，还是被放弃了。
不想被遗忘的，终究还是变成过去式了。
很想做的事，最后还是停留在想象当中。

我，就这样了。

想了很久，最后决定把我记得的他写下。
只是写下，纪念我的他。
只是想好好记得，没有什么目的。

原来，他这么喜欢remix songs。
原来，他高过我一点点。
原来，他近看还蛮好看的。
原来，他唱歌挺好听的。
原来，他身体香香的，有点像body shampoo的味道。
原来，他的手会一直出汗的，好好笑。
原来，猴子可以这么可爱的。
原来，抱住一个人可以这么舒服。
原来，舌头是很黏的。
原来，我是很想把他吃掉的。
原来，看到他不开心，自己可以也不开心的。

后来，我发现想念一个人是很开心的。
后来，我发现听到message的声音是这么兴奋的。
后来，我发现跟他讲电话的时间是很快过的。
后来，我发现016的postpaid是他教我换的。
后来，我慢慢忘记了，我原来是朋友罢了。
后来，我越来越贪心了。
后来，我尝到了后悔原来是很折磨的。
后来，我发现，我不可能是他的。
后来，我发现，我还是放弃不了的。

最后，就这样了。
最后，经过了半年的等待，结果就是这样了。
最后，发现我的努力，是他的负担罢了。
最后，发现他不可能对我专一了。
应该说，从来就不可能企望他对我的专一。

还没有去过他组的家。
还没有试过跟他去过sunway lagoon。
还没有跟他去过溜冰。
还没有跟他去过最长的夜市。
还没有给他吃过我婆婆包的粽子。
还没有发明可以医治手汗的药。
还没有驾过车在他去兜风。
还没有跟他去过演唱会。
还没有认真地唱过歌给他听。
还没有跟他去看过电影。
还没有用力的抱住过他，跟他说：我喜欢你。






我们的关系，就这样了。：-）

Tagged...

I get tagged twice in this title...( frm the beloved cray n jkee-.-)
Anyway, i'll do it in a single post, im too tired to make it twice larrrrrr
J:Jackie
C:Cray

What relationship of you with him/her?-
J:My...my....my...>.<
C:A very good fren who cares bout me and give me lots of useful advice:)

Your 5 impressions towards him/her?-
J: High profile daoooooooooo, always busy with his social life larrrrrr
C: Hmm...quite talkative, talk talk talk-.-But funny content larrrrrrrrr

The most memorable thing that he/she has done to you.-
J: Is he who bring me into my life now, thank you:-)
C:He recommend me the song " Against The Grain"...(really gt nth memorable mahhhhhh)

The most memorable words that he/she has said to you.-
J: Very tired, very sleepy aaaaaaaaaaaa( dunno he feel so or he used to say it to start conversation edi)
C: I wan NAN REN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!( okok.....juz kidding, lolxxxxxx)

If he/she becomes your lover, you will?-
J: Force him to sms me every 1 hour and report wut he is doing=.=
C: Burn all his cigarettes-.-

If he/she becomes your enemy, you will?-
J: delete all his remix songs and contact number(wahhhhh)
C: persue him to smoke till die(yerrrrrrrr, so bad)

If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on?-
J: uncertain emotion, weak self-control
C: ability to listen more to other opinion and sumtimes pls think for himself

If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is...-
J: he more leng zai den me(o.0???)
C: he is taller than me(wuwuwuwuwuwuwu.....)

The most desirable thing to do for him/her is?-
J: invent a medicine to cure his palm sweating habit...
C: help him to gain weight...he need FATTTTTTT

The overall impression to he/her is...-
J: yerrrrrrr, enuf with ur high profile larrrrr
C: omg.....how come a ppl can hav so many energy to talk?????

How do you think the people around you will feel about you?-
Emotional, childish, stupid

The character for you for yourself is?-
Okok....sum parts above is correct....but overall im ADORABLE okay??????(*vomit*)

On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?-
Why i just cant make up my mind on sth that is obviously needed to be changed????? hmm....

The most ideal person you want to be is?-
Donald Trumps, i will use all my money to play , play, and play-.-

For the person who cares and likes you, say something about them.-
For wut im doing right now, mummy u r my encouragement to not give up even i dun have any passion in it....i wish u can have a better life when i start to work....
For people who i care and care for me, thanks for everything u all had done on me, i will slowly bcum wut u all wish to c, really:-)

Ten people to tag:
1. Jackie
2. Jamie
3. Cray
4. Kirstine
5. Yunn
6. Connie
7. Leo
8. Yihz
9. Carter
10. Alson

Who is number 2 having relationship with?-
She is still single.Perhaps:P

Is number 3 a male or female?-
Male

If number 7 and number 10 be together would it be a good thing?-
WAHHHHHH.....hell no!!!

How about number 5 and number 8?-
A tomboi and a .....lolxxxxx

What is number 1 studying about?-
Culinary Art

When was the last time you had a chat with them?-
Always...except sum who are always bz-.-

Is number 4 a single?-
I dun think so....hahahahaha

Say something about number 2.-
She is my only gal fren in KL...really happy to know her as a fren, and hope she can get wut she wan in her life....Wish her all the best!!!

I realliii dunno who to tag ler.....blogger i know only the few-.-

Fast Fact( A Tag)

Tagged by Jamie, facts you don’t want to know.

"State 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.The 10 people I tag are to then to follow my footsteps and write their own 15 weird things/habits and little known facts. No tag backs."

Okok...it seems weird for me to exposed my weird habit to u guys, but FINE, since u guys wan to know so bad-.-

1. I like to eat breakfast before i brush my teeth in da morning, it make me feel more energetic of the day( but i did brush after my breakfas okayyyyy)
2. Im night blinder, so next time dun ask me why keep doing the seductive eye wen even looking at the road sign at the nite-.-
3. I like to keep starring at the phone, even tat time i didnt sms or waiting sum1 call, dis is my habit>.<
4. By the way, my phone bill always exceed rm 150, dun ask me why, i also dunno~.~
5. Im not a hardworking student, so next time dun ask me for notes or homework to b copied..cuz i will ask from u all first.
6. My hair looks like a helmet before i style it.After i style it , it transform into-----------styled helmet=.=
7. Sumtimes i can b very quiet n moody, even im with a whole brunch of frens, dunno y, mayb period of a guy gua...
8. Anyway, i like to laugh a lots. But my laugh always teased by frens. They say it sounds like a duck.....HELLO????HAV U EVER SEEN A DUCK LAUGH A??????GUEK GUEK GUEK>>>>>
9. Im a feizai, so never say im chubby or cute anymore, just call me FEI ZAI will do okay?????
10.I hate to receive reply after 1 or 2 hour when sum1 texting sms with me, so juz text me "bb" or "im busy" if u nt available tat time ok???I will b very bengang to receive it late late d-.-
12. Im sum kind of deaf, so dun b surprise when i keep saying: Har ??? Har??? Har??? Im just cant listen wut u saying, is nt i dun pay attention to ur words:P
13. Throu i might seems quite outgoing, but in fact i juz hate to stay at hostel-.-So feel free to ask me out when im at hostel, u might be surprised tat the usual Anderson who dun choi u during weekends will be so desperate to yamcha with u during weekdays(i sounds so cheap la-.-)
14. I got problem in memorising thing(even im going to be a pharmacist>.<) So dun ask me to remember ur number or ur bday, unless tat is very very very important to me, cuz till now, i can only remember mine, my mama, and another's number*shy shy*
15. I cant really sleep till afternoon, even juz fin clubbing till 3 in da morning and sleep 5 in da morning...i will automatic awake at latest 10 sth and start to move here move there-.-But, for the rest of the day , i will b very sleepy and lazy lorrrrrrr

Omg...these take me longer time then i expected, even do homework i also nvr so concentrate be4....lolxxxxxx

I want to know more of Cray and Jackie(since i only know their got habits of writing blog-.-).

Tag Tag Tag

Good, now i owe 3 tag(Jamie,Cray,Jackie?) to be done, funny daooooooo
Seems interesting to write lerrr, but the speed connection in this '"truly beloved" comp lab in my uni wont able to let me post up wut i wrote laaaaa....
Wut if later i wrote till dying, then post up failed????
lolxxxxxxx
Wait laaaa, tml i go tmn desa i'll post up, wakakakakaka
Anyway, weekends cuming, people who is bore, find ME!!!!!!

*****u is released says:
bf


:-)
nothing better than this,
goodnite everyone

Ipoh, again:)

Too many things i have to post...Hmm, first of all: I AM BACK TO IPOH~~


Just now evening, i go for mountain climbing in Kledang there, i use my lovely motor bike---and put my wallet inside the motor as usual...
When i back, the wallet was in my motor bike's basket!!!!!!
ALL MONEY INSIDE GONE!!!!
"Luckily", my important cards and bus ticket was still there.....(luckily pulak-.-)
I really big head prawn d larrrrrrrrr, forget to lock it properly timmmmmmmmm
Hmm.....shud i feel happy or sad nie?????


Okie, now lets start with the happy thingy, picture~~~~~~

my usual fruits after dinner in hostel....(wahhhhhhhh, but only available after few days back from ipoh....sigh-.-)

The day this pic taken was 3-sep-2008, but every1 is desperately to buy ticket at 26-sep-2008...HARI RAYA!!!!!(God bless me...i managed to get 1 afterall>.<)

Here are some pic we took in Oblique...havin lots of fun tat nite, throu sth unexpected happenned, but life still goes on, and hope everything will be fine, hope everyone will get better in time:)

Drunk look Nicholas + Sexy Jamie + 1 unknown monkey= weird pic(=.=)

Jamie and Jackie~~

Jackie, Yihz and his frens from melaka(Try to guess the age of Yihz fren.....22!!!!OMGGGGG)

Benny and Cray (and a always-there-licking monkey khoo-__-)

Cray and Anderson(Why i so fierce d ler????Sob sob...-.-)

Alby, Jackie and Carter( again, funny jkee....lolxxxx)

Anderson, Nicholas and Jamie(Nic look sooooo funny la---licking jamie's buku lima, lolxxxxx)

Jackie and Anderson(some1 yelling for help at the behind...hahahahaha!!!)

Happy for having u guys accompany me in my life, stay connected yea!!!

Very Dulan

Something very annoyed happened just now, right before i wrote this blog.

*deleted due to complains of some fucking dudes*

May the best life of all students, here.

Im confuse.
Really not sure if Im ready to get exposed to them, and yet I just did it.
Hopefully everything will be fine, nothing gonna change afterall.

I really hope if im doing the right thing to continue like this.
Really sanfu, but duwan to give up still.
Stupid daoooooooooooooooooooooo

Inconvenient Truth

Hmm, I got something to share with you guys this time>.<

Do u all blif tat i will bring some1 to an empty apartment and XXX ???

Hell no!!!!

But my mum n my auntie all afraid me will do so....

MY FACE LOOK VERY HAM SUP MEH????



Ok, here comes the full story(ceh.....-.-II)

I've had enough with my f**king hostel life(forgive me pls, some1 teach me to use all these rude words, in fact im still a good kid, lolxxxx), i really cant stand to stay in my hostel for my entire week. Ok lar, im not complaining bout everything in my hostel la, just im not that type of group living organism, i need some privacy once in a while to reminds me tat im still alive. I wanna live in KL at least for weekends, and leave this f**king place(again=.=)...I wish to stay in town, and not place which is so-called nice study environment and good air quality>.

Then, my auntie's apartment which is located in old klang road, taman desa comes into my mind( sounds like im very evil only....) I asked to stay in there, and at first everything seems to be very sun lei 1....but dunno why as the date to due the apartment getting nearer, seems like very hard, but luckily la.....friday i will get the key, hurrayyyyyyy~~~~

Saturday will have a concert thingy at LOW YAT PLAZA right???

Lets go there~~~

All my frens who see my post pls ask me out!!!!! Wakakakakaka...