Plain Despair

Biology, me: 65, highest: 80
Physics, me: B, highest: 95

=(

For fuck's sake, I cried. First time ever cry for exam result. Oh fuck it. Do you have to be so mean every single time. Just for your information, I am so fucked up right now. And I can't study at all, thanks to the tears and heart beats that going to tear me apart.

Whatever I have, just take it away. i hate any kind of feeling right now. Plain hurt to even think about tomorrow. I hate it. Fuck it. Fuck it to a maximum and fuck it like there's no more tomorrow.

I am fed up this time. I dunno what's wrong with my result. I supposedly quite confidence with my physics, I thought it's going to be a good one. At least, I thought I can get more than that, at least an As.

65. what-the-fuck-65.
B. what-the-hell-B.

Wei Lun get 93. And he still not satisfied with his result.
I think I can just go and jump off the cliff.

Not like I didn't study hard. Maybe I didn't study smart. Maybe I was too nervous. Maybe I made lot's of stupid fucking mistakes. Or maybe, I was plain stupid. brainless. simply fathead.

I can't think of anything worse than being me myself at this moment.

People study for a time. and I took forever to memorize a fucking simply equation. What's the fucking stupid brain I am having right now??? I try to squeeze my brain for some idiot answer. But I think I have no brain, so I hav nothing to squeeze too.

I am fucking useless. Plain useless dump shit.

I can't think of a fucking way to comfort myself. Let's see...if there's a will, there's a way?? Or maybe U see it, U do it, U get it???

Haha, go to hell for whoever create such fucking idiot saying or whatever, cuz I can't see any point for having these. I bet, those who say these are people who never taste the bitterness of failure. Or in other words, they are the successer -- all-time-successer. Fuck them all to the hell. Let's put them in my shoe now, and they will see where's the fucking way they are mentioning, or where is the fucking thing that they promised us for what we will get.

U mothersucker. I wish U can see my post in here: Anderson-adon.blogspot.com
Yea, U is for those say these words. Not anyone else. U.

I work fucking hard in every day in my fucking life. I get nothing. Plain frustration and anger is what I got. So what??? Did it change anything???

Fucking nothing. I am still the dump shit. With a lot more unsatisfaction.

I wish I can jump off of anything, or take in anything that can make me start all over again. I wan to get a better brain. I wan to have a whole new life.

Or maybe I will hav the same old stupid head, but anyway, I won't have to see all these fucking genius around me anymore. So I won't be the dump in there anymore.

Pls. I wish to end this program soon. Better to be tomorrow. NO no. Now. I wish I'm ex-Ausmatian right now.

Sucks.