Hey you're broke stop buying

Another shopping day. Gosh when am I ever gonna stop spending and start earning?

It's really torturing when you have nothing to do but to shop. That's exactly what happened to me. I was going to get a part time job but as usual, I was too goofy to go in and talk to the manager.

And to kill the time, I ended up in Habour Town Shopping Complex with Elvin, as usual. We shop! A pair of jeans, 3 t-shirt. All in 2 hours. I guess I'm getting better in that -- which is worse, it means the cash flows faster.

Just for this week, I've spent more than Aud 500 on shits. I bought lotsa stuffs that I don't even realized I bought it. I bought Fossil watch, perfume, t-shirts, shirts, jeans, scarfs, shoes, jackets, sweaters... I really don't know what's wrong with me. I tend to shop when I'm in bad mood. And I bought shits. I hate myself.

And I'm going to join Fitness First. It's fucking expensive in Melbourne -- aud 20 for a week. I'm living as if I'm a rich spoiled child. I have high tea with my friends, I go for movie that are shits, I fine dining like crazy, and I thought I'm rich. Screw me. Let's see how am I gonna die next month.

Having said that, I love my bubble butt. :-P

Protect me from what I want

People always see me as the playboy, the player, the guy who's always flirt...whatever. And it's really sad. Because that's not who I am. I am a good guy. Really. Even after all the things I've gone through, I am still the me that I first know who I am.

Still looking for the one.

I fall in love easily. Maybe because I was too desperate -- I've been single for too long, and every couple I've known just seems like they want to mess with me. It seems to be too fast to like someone so madly in such a short time. But for me, love is not meant to be directly proportional to the time you've known the person for. When it's there, it's there. Why all the pretending? Why all the hard work, when you know you'll be happy if you're to be with the person?

If that makes me a slut. Fine. I am.

I fall in love easily. But it takes me forever to get over it. I was always the broken hearted one. I always give all my heart, even when I barely know the person. Without knowing that they're gonna make me cry, I smiled sincerely to them. Just because they make me laugh, I've decided to be theirs. And turns out, it just doesn't work that way. People like someone who's playing hard to get. They don't like easy comer. People love challenges, and I am simply too easy to score. They got bored of me. And they're gone. Left me alone. Nothing but a heartless mannequin.



I should have learn from all these drama, shouldn't I? No, I just doesn't seems to have enough of all the shits. Again and again, the same old things keeps on repeating. Over and over again, it's like a cycle -- I don't see the ending. Maybe there's no ending, after all. I guess it's wrong for me for wanting to have a monogamy relationship. People just don't see me that way. I'm the backup plan, I'm the soft pillow, whatever it is -- just not the one.

I'm fucking 20 year old. And I've never had a serious relationship. What the fuck am I supposed to feel? It might be too early for me to thinking to settle down, but I'm so damn tired of all the games. I'm not a gamer, it's too tiring for me. I'm a loser, I want to end this game so badly. I need someone to take me over.

Someone just fucking want me, is it that hard to find the someone?

I want it last. I want it long. I will do whatever it takes to make this work. But please, take me. Take me for who I am. See me for what I am. Listen to what I have to say. And that's it. You can decide whatever you want to do with me. But just take me. I'm sick of having to go to some random parties with no partner. I want someone to miss me when we're not together. Someone to text me telling me what they are doing. Someone to cuddle with me in the cold days. Someone to share the delicious food. Someone to watch the lame movie and laugh at the stupid acts of the actors. Someone to have a long walk along the beach with me. Someone to tickle when I'm bored. Someone to bite when I'm hungry. Someone to scold me when I'm not doing my dishes. Someone to pretend to be entertained by my lame jokes. Someone to love my cooking. Someone to cook for me. Someone for me. Just me.

Protect me from what I want. Because I don't think I'm in my right mind anymore.

Sexual Racism

Racism is fundamentally a set of judgements made about a person, not based on how you perceive the person, but based on generalisations you already believe about all people who share their ethnic background or their country of origin.

Racism is unfair, unethical and damaging to both those who do it and those who are its victims. It enforces the myth that we are separate and distinct instead of exclaiming the truth that we are one human people.

Racism is sadly alive and well in how we talk about our sexual and romantic preferences, and sometimes in how we act on them. Racism in the sexual and romantic parts of our lives is what we're calling "sexual racism".

Racism is a pretty loaded term and it's also a hard concept for people to deal with. I think we like to see ourselves as pretty free of prejudice, but of course, we're not. We make judgements all the time, and often this happens before we meet someone, or before a situation happens. This can be a good thing - a process of critical thinking and choice - or it might not be a good thing, if our preconceptions are preventing us from seeing or taking part in the world in a complete way, or if they hurt other people.

Some people relate racism only to the Ku Klux Klan and white supremacist groups. They think that racism is only when you hate other races or when you think your race is superior. But racism is also about prejudice based on race. It often involves the first definitions but is much more subtle.

If you're surfing the internet looking for friends, or dates, or shags, and you read profile after profiile that excludes you on the basis of something you have no control over - race - , how does it make you feel? Think of it that way. How about if you -- a homosexual walk around in your workplace or your neighbourhood and occasionally, or more often than you think, you see a sign that says "No Gays."

What we don't think about is how it feels for other people to read them. Imagine how it feels to read ad after ad that excludes you based solely on your race. Imagine for a moment, that you were in a minority in the country you were born in and kept reading apparently endless profiles saying you weren't desirable. It just might ruin your day, mightn't it? Do you really want to help make other people feel bad about themselves?

But there's an alternative to this grumpy, negative kind of speech that just makes everyone feel sad and diminished. If we simply make positive, inclusive statements in our profiles, tell people what we do like, and deal politely with people who don't turn us on, we've made a positive change. Try talking about the characteristics you're into, not about the person's race.

No-one has the right to get laid. Most of us can't control quite how we respond sexually or emotionally to another. If something doesn't turn us on, there's not much we can do. Is there? In fact, for most of us our tastes change over our lifetime. Usually, they get broader, sometimes they get narrower. Can you honestly say that you like the same type of people now that you did when you were 17 years old? What can you attribute that difference to other than experience?

Sometimes, we think we're not into one type of guy/girl, but then we meet that one that blows our preconceptions out of the water. Unless, we protect ourselves from ever meeting them. If we never really have opportunities to meet, get to know and get to appreciate people with different kinds of bodies, different looks, different faces, how will we ever know if we could have found them sexy.

Why not check someone out to see if you find them sexy rather than excluding them without even looking? It's racially prejudiced to rule out someone for a job based on their race or to keep them out of a pub. Ruling out someone as a potential partner based on their race is just as prejudiced.

Many people consider that sexual preference simply can't, by definition, be racist. We think that's wrong. Prejudice is prejudice. Racism diminishes us, weakens our community and, let's face it, means that everyone gets laid less and has fewer chances to fall in love. That sucks.

Ugly People

Hello everyone (probably just a few of my beloved friends who read it, but anyway), it's been after some times since I've put in much effort to make my blog sounds interesting. I've been really busy with my exams, social life, shopping and such. It's been the best time of my life -- so far. And I really enjoy every moment of my life in this beautiful country.

Oh well, really, it would be perfect if this creepy little monster wasn't here. LOL.

I'm really impressed by how understanding the search engine of Google can be. I simply type in "ugly creature" and, POP! Here this sea pig is in the first page of the search result.

Picture say a thousand word. In this picture, it simply says everything.

Note: I'm insulting someone. I truly adore this sea pig animal. It's just so happened to have the same feature him.

His ugly features:

1. Small saggy eyes.

2. Ugly teethes.

3. Bad breath -- real bad.

4. Loser skinny body.

5. Ugly voice.

6. Disgusting Australian wannabe's accent.

7. Stingy and penurious. God even worse than my auntie who live in some small villages back in Malaysia.

8. Pathetic fashion sense.

7. A fag who claim himself to be straight. Wonder who's the one got fucked last time.

I'm talking about a person. Yes.

Till then, see ya everyone!

Just so sick of being rejected all the time. And I hate myself for what I after. It's gonna take some time before I can realize my fantasy isn't going to be real. But how long does it gonna take? I don't know. I just fucking tired of all the imagination and all the expectation.

x.e.s

It's only my 4th month in Melbourne, and my perspective towards things in life have changed so tremendously.

I'm so confused.

What is right?

What is wrong?

Or is there ever anything that is wrong?

SEX

I used to think that it changes things between people.

And I'm not sure if it's true, now.

The society tells me that sex is a fun pleasurable experience, that can be shared between two people. In a way, yes, it is baring yourself in a completely different way to someone.

If we're good friends, it's like camping, playing chess, or sharing problems together -- It's just enjoying a different aspect of each other.

So, why should it change anything?

Camping shared physical stimulation.

Playing chess is sharing intellectual stimulation.

Sharing problems is spiritual stimulation.

So, why is sex different?

The answer lies in the social stigma. It's just how people perceive it.

If neither perceives it wrongly, then why should it matter? Perhaps in certain crowds, don't cry it out from the roof -- and I really don't see what's wrong with it.

Cheers.

OMG!

Ternary Phase Diagrams - On-line Assessment 1 120.00 (out of 120)

Thanks to Joyce, WeiMann, Andrea, Rou Yee, Yao Yao, Carlo....everyone in the comp lab who contribute to this awesome achievement! LOL!

I Got You

A place to crash, I got you
No need to ask, I got you
Just get on the phone, I got you
Come and pick you up if I have to

What's weird about it is we're right at the end
And mad about it, just figured it out in my head
I'm proud to say, I got you

Go ahead and say goodbye, I'll be alright
Go ahead and make me cry, I'll be alright
And when you need a place to run to
For better, for worse, I got you, I got you

Ain't falling apart or bitter, let's be bigger than that
And remember the cooling outdoor when you're all alone
We'll go on surviving, no drama, no need for a show
Just wanna say, I got you

Go ahead and say goodbye, I'll be alright
Go ahead and make me cry, I'll be alright
And when you need a place to run to
For better, for worse, I got you

Go ahead and say goodbye
(Go ahead)
I'll be alright
(Say goodbye)

Go ahead and make me cry
I'll be alright
And when you need a place to run to
For better, for worse, I got you

'Cause this is love and life
And nothing we can both control
And if it don't feel right
You're not losing me by letting me know

Go ahead and say goodbye
(Say goodbye)
I'll be alright

Go ahead and make me cry
I'll be alright
And when you need a place to run to
For better, for worse, I got you

Go ahead and say goodbye
(Go ahead)
I'll be alright
(Say goodbye)

Go ahead and make me cry, I'll be alright
And when you need a place to run to
For better, for worse, I got you

A place to crash, I got you
No need to ask, I got you

Leona Lewis - I Got You

Transformation

From a lengzai (at least I think so =P) to a monkey. =.=

Random

Don't look at it.

Don't talk about it.

Don't want to hear, either.

That's how I face the *unpleasant thing* in my life.